I am always surprised by how ordinary the big days feel. Life moves on and around, even though you feel stopped in time and the air you breath feels heavier than the air that surrounds you. You thank the person who got your coffee, you put your turn signal on and wave to the person who let you in, you hold the door for someone as you enter the building and all the while, its like your brain isn't connected to your body. You are propelled forward by the momentum of the inevitable while your mind feels stuck in quicksand. Thank goodness for muscle memory.
Lucy had her *last* round of intra arterial chemotherapy this week and while we don't know what's around the next corner (retinoblastoma is a fickle beast), we can take a big gulp of regular weight air because we are on the other side of that big day. There will be other big days in her future, more big days than we care to count, but we are ready for them. And on the ordinary days, the days when we can play at the park and go to the beach and do the kinds of things that children do, I'm going to breath big, breath deep, and soak it all in.
Day 178: Wheeeee!
Day 179: Lucy's *last* round of intra arterial chemotherapy went well but the treatment leaves poor Lucy swollen and sore. She found this sign all on her own and we couldn't help but laugh as she held it up.
Day 180: After a neulasta shot in the morning it was time to play and play. This little girl loves the hose and does not stand for a trickle. She likes a shower! :)
Day 181: Happy Fourth of July!
Day 182: The 5th of July involved a lot of cleanup and Lucy enjoyed every second. :)
Day 183: Bubbles!
Day 184: Good morning sweet girl.
See you next week!