Life gets blurry when you are a Mama. When you are in the thick of things and your baby is growing up right before your eyes. Some days, you don't pause to soak it all in. Some days pass in a blur of laundry, cleaning, cooking, playing, story time and bedtime. You collapse on the couch and barely know where the last 10 hours went. Other days, the passing of time stops you at 10 am on a random Thursday and hits you over the head with a brick. You see her tiny form as it disappears down the hallway and imagine all the times you will see that tiny form walking away from you. Those moments play in your mind like a family slideshow, click. click. click. And with each click she gets bolder, more independent, walking farther and farther. A prospect that is both thrilling and heart wrenching as a mama. That tiny form will grow and grow and grow. Her tiny voice growing with her, her big ideas getting even bigger, and her horizons expanding until she is walking away from you into her very own future. Right now, as she walks away, I wait, smiling inside, because any second her head will turn and she'll see me watching. When she catches my eye, she'll giggle, whisper mama, run full force into my arms and bury herself there for a bit before she's off again.
I hope she never, ever, grows too big to hug me tightly and whisper mama. I hope she always finds comfort in the crook of my neck and the squeeze of my arms.
Time passes. Life gets blurry. But she will always, always, be my baby.